Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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