I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Panties = found
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
