i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
