i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
