No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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