Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
