Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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