OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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