Pregnant stripper...not hot.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
we're so committed to being not committed
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
