what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
