maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
