so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
