this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
