real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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