I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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