After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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