what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
