did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
