You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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