it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
