I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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