I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
