Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
