i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
