I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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