And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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