I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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