I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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