Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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