The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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