Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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