Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
