ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
