Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
