So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
