what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
