It's Friday. Sex?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
