so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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