yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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