You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
