There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
