Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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