Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
