Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
