so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
