Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
How does it feel to date your dad?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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