My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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