At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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