Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
