Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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