I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
