we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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