I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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