Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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