oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
