The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
