HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
