Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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