Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
